I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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