Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you inspire me to be a worse person
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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