sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
