if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
