I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize