I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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