so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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