Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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