All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
