wrigley field is MILF paradise
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
