This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
