We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
