We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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