Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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