New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
