Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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