She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
