i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
