never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
