it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
