Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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