next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
