I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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