Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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