addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
