I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
