so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize