I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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