So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
