no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize