Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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