Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
