at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Girls should come with a carfax report
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize