Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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