You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
