No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
