I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
