i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
