just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He called his prostate his "boner button".
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
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