You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
