Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
