I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
