need another drink. this is the easiest way
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
