just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
