I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
