This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
