I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
