her vagine was all disorganized.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
