Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
false alarm, still single
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