Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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