The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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