people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
