At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
