I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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