I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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