yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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