in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
COCAINE IS GR8
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
