everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize