real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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