I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
