sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
